Our friend Daniel Sroka graciously agreed to come back and share tips on how to put together a meaningful interfaith wedding ceremony.  He also shared one of his beautiful ketubah’s with us!!

Creating your interfaith wedding ceremony can feel like a huge challenge. Unlike couples from the same religion, you cannot just use a standard ceremony and be done with it. You need to create a new ceremony that is relevant to both of your traditions. While it can feel overwhelming, this challenge is really an opportunity to create something that truly symbolizes the unique personality of your love and marriage.

The simplest way to create an interfaith ceremony is to start with a basic wedding structure and embellish it with traditions you both hold most important. Both partners should write down everything they think should be in the wedding — every tradition that feels necessary. They should then go through their individual lists and explain the meaning of each item to each other. This is especially important for religious traditions that your partner may know little or nothing about. Try to explain why each tradition feels personally important to you, avoiding generalities like “it’s always been done this way”, or “I just like it”. The more you can explain, the better you will both understand each other, and the better your ceremony will become.

As you describe your ideal wedding to each other, you will begin to combine ideas, finding areas of agreement and disagreement. You will begin to learn what traditions are important to you as individuals, and as a couple. When my wife and I did this, we discovered that some traditions we originally considered essential really had no meaning to us once we tried to explain them, while other little-known traditions suddenly felt very important. So be ready to talk, compromise, and learn how to balance each others needs, concerns and ideas.

Eventually, you’ll begin to whittle down your long list of ideas into a workable ceremony. When my wife and I planned our wedding, we ended up combined different aspects of the Jewish and Catholic wedding traditions. We had two friends sing a modern version of the Seven Blessings. Another friend read a translation I wrote of the popular “Love is patient, love is kind” passage from Corinthians. We stood under a huppah as my cousin the priest and our rabbi both gave their blessings. I fell in love with the Jewish tradition of the ketubah, and being an artist, decided to make one for us, which the rabbi then read to our families. We lit a unity candle, then stomped a glass. Some might find this kind of ceremony a little crazy or inauthentic, but we loved it and it fit us perfectly. It wasn’t a Jewish wedding or a Catholic wedding — it was our wedding.

Our crazy combined ceremony worked to bring our two families together in a beautiful and special way. Each side could relate to part of the ceremony, and also share the experience of something new. We explained the traditions throughout the ceremony, in simple terms, so that everyone could appreciate the parts they weren’t familiar with. And in the end, our families loved it as much as we did. It let us honor our religions and families while defining our own newly combined values, and began to establish what it would mean to live together as an interfaith couple.

Daniel Sroka is a fine art nature photographer and the owner of Modern Ketubah. He creates modern fine art wedding ketubahs from his abstract photographs of flowers and leaves for interfaith, Jewish, and multi-cultural couples.  He also writes a blog about his experiences as a full-time artist.

Today’s article comes from guest blogger Daniel Sroka.  I met Daniel over on Third Tribe – a forum for marketers, bloggers, etc..  He read one of my posts and struck up an email conversation. This conversation lead to him graciously offering to not only guest blog about his experiences working with Interfaith Couples, but also about his own experience putting together an Interfaith Ceremony.  He writes from the heart and I love that!!

The Beauty of Creating your own Interfaith Wedding Ceremony

Interfaith weddings can be the most beautiful of wedding ceremonies. Of course, being in an interfaith marriage myself, I may be biased! But when interfaith weddings combine the traditions and practices of both the bride and groom, I find that they become something special, transcending rote ceremony and becoming a uniquely personal celebration.

The way an interfaith ceremony gets created is the key to its beauty. Couples who are from the same religion can pretty much take their ceremony for granted. They can visit their priest or rabbi, get the template, make a few tweaks, and know they’ll have a 100% legit ceremony. Interfaith couples, on the other hand, don’t have this luxury. They have to creatively blend together the different parts of their traditions to craft a working ceremony.

The challenge of creating a ceremony often makes interfaith couples nervous and full of questions. How do you do it? How do you make it feel “real” enough? Will any of the relatives feel left out? But even though these questions can be nerve-wracking, they are the foundation of what makes an interfaith ceremony so special. Because interfaith couples can’t just take an off-the-shelf ceremony and call it a day, they need to think through every aspect of their wedding, considering every detail. This, I believe, results in a very meaningful and powerful ceremony.

In order to combine two different wedding ceremonies, interfaith couples have to review all of the practices within their religions’ ceremonies, and decide what to keep, what to change, and what to leave out. To do this, they first need to help each other learn, teaching each other about their religion’s traditions, symbols, and ideas about marriage. As my wife and I planned our own ceremony, we didn’t just learn about each other’s religion – we rediscovered our own, often surprising ourselves with what really mattered to us and what didn’t. We then went through each wedding tradition, discussed it, and decided if we wanted to include it in our ceremony, and how. Each part of our wedding was therefore a conscious choice. Each part of our wedding was born out of a deep discussion, and reflected a shared value.

The creation of the ceremony helped teach us how to discuss our differences, and find our similarities. Explaining the ceremony to our families helped us better understand our decisions and values. Even the experience of being a part of this blended, shared ceremony helped bring our families closer together. So while creating an interfaith wedding ceremony can take a lot of thought and planning, I believe it is worth it, because your wedding becomes a celebration that truly represents who you are.

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Daniel Sroka is a fine art nature photographer and the owner of Modern Ketubah. He creates modern fine art wedding ketubahs from his abstract photographs of flowers and leaves for interfaith, Jewish, and multi-cultural couples. He also writes the blog Open Studio about his experiences as a full-time artist/entrepreneur.